


The Voice You Listen To

by AriesDraco



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Deceit is terrifying, Not a ship, Other, emo boi emos, from a certain point of view, maybe if you squint, post-selfishness v. selflessness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-02
Updated: 2019-07-02
Packaged: 2020-06-02 19:28:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19448044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AriesDraco/pseuds/AriesDraco
Summary: His is the voice of lies.Virgil reflects. Or has a bit of a panic attack. Those two situations seem so similar.





	The Voice You Listen To

His was the voice that whispered gently, when you were thirteen and wondering why you still didn’t understand how boys went crazy over girls, “Don’t worry, it’s just a matter of time.”

His was the voice that sagely advised, “Tell your teacher it got wet in the rain. After all, it’s only homework,” when you had forgotten what had been assigned because you were too busy writing that Aladdin fanfic that was going to make you a big name fan.

His was the voice telling you, “You enjoy this,” as you freak out about the number of strangers surrounding you at the concert, unsure if it would be weird for you to speak to them, or weirder to stay silent until someone noticed you. “You’re going to show them how cool you are.”

His was the voice coaxing you, “well, if they are happy together, you don’t care” as you obsessively forego sleep, stalking your ex on social media, hands trembling as their happy faces blurred in your tears.

As if it wasn’t terrifying enough that Deceit could silence them, could hide from them, could steal their forms and speak in their voices. Could mirror Logic, placate Anxiety, could bend Morality and stoke Fancy. They didn’t understand, not the way he did, how utterly terrifying Deceit was. They saw him as a cartoon villain, to be vanquished by Reason, by The Right Thing, by The Good Person, but they had never had to sit in the dark, heart racing, mouth dry, hyperventilating at the sheer awfulness of everything all the time, never had to curl up and bury their heads in that ridiculous capelet, to shut out the world while the calm voice lied, “Everything is going to be alright.” 

They never had to experience and therefore didn’t have to live with the knowledge that Deceit was warm, that his heart beat slow, like a snake, but fluttered when he was called upon to

Help me

They could say with one voice with clarity that he was Wrong and he was Bad, and that was why they disliked him, not because they were terrified and confused and therefore needed to lash out. It was at times like that that he looked to Morality to calm the racing in his mind. It was right, he was right, Deceit was Bad, Deceit was Wrong, Deceit was Terrifying, Deceit was Terrific. 

Deceit was seductive, Deceit was sin. Deceit was comfort, Deceit was terrifying. 

How could something so fundamentally Wrong have ever felt so flawless Right? Ever. Ever, ever, ever. Even once, even twice, EVER. He told you what you wanted to hear, you wanted to listen because it felt good, “You’ve done nothing wrong, you’re just misunderstood, nobody hates you. What they don’t know won’t hurt them.” Lies were comfortable, lies were addictive. They drove him to panic, they brought him back to calm, they terrified him, how easy it was to pick and choose which lies to believe, as if truth was not an absolute, but relative. As if he was every bit as Wrong as he had always known he was.

And most terrifying of all, if you listened long enough to the lies, they eventually became true.

Nobody hates you.

What if all lies could become true, even the awful ones that made him want to throw up with anxiety? Even the kind ones that helped him get through the dark days and darker nights?

It was too much of a risk. It was Wrong. It was Bad.

“Do not allow him or any of... his friends to stick around that long again!” It was comfort, it was heartbreak, it was pain.

But Deceit was dangerous and he knew he was Right to insist. Cool. We cool. We all cool. 

Everything’s going to be alright.


End file.
